What do "7 minute Abs", "Cheese", and the "Number 8" have in common with Customer Service?

Lately I have been trying to search new steps companies are giving to their employees on how to provide good customer service. What is funny is that I keep stumbling across a certain number and that number is 8. 

Eight (8)? Why I am finding the number 8? I did not know that there was a standard amount of steps for providing good customer service? I thought there would be many? It reminds me of that movie, "Something About Mary" when one of my favorite comedic actors "Harland Williams" was a Hitchiker who "Ben Stiller" picked up in his car and  Harland said the line about the 7 minute abs vice the 8 minute abs. 

"HITCHHIKER: "7s the key number here. Think about it. 7-Eleven, 7 doors. 7, man, thats the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch eaten' sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. Its like your dreaming about Gorgonzola cheese, when it is clearly brie time baby, step into my office"

One article I read today said there are 8 important steps towards developing customer service. Lets take a look at them and see if we can make 7 steps vice 8 steps, like "Harland Williams".

Here we go.

1) Answer your phone 

Well, this is an important step. If you don't answer the phone, then one cannot provide any customer service. However, this is kind of basic and simple. Here is the way I look at it. Answer the phone, your open for business. Don't answer the phone, your closed for business. Is that customer service? Maybe those famous articles on this topic all over the web should revisit this step of developing good customer service. Lets deduct this step, due to it being too basic and broad.

Allright, we are now at 7 steps. I can already taste the Brie cheese. Yum!

2) Don't make promises unless you WILL keep them. 

If a garbage man, waiter, cashier, banker, salesperson makes a promise to me, then I don't really consider this customer service. This is more for a friend or family situation or a daytime soap opera moment. As a customer, I don't want promises, I want service now and good, especially when the service is making a profit. : )

Oh no! we are now at 6 steps. This is not working. I am losing the Brie cheese taste and going back to Gorgonzola cheese. Yuk!

3) Listen to your customers.

Allright, they hit it on the nail here, but this should have been number one and maybe add some additional words to this statement, like "Listen to your customer and give them or help them with what they want need from your organiation. Show support. : )

4) Deal with complaints.

I don't like the tone of this step. It sounds to negative. "Deal"? It definitely has a negative connotation to it. what about, "Embrace complaints and help the customer solve the problem in a timely matter. Show support. : )

We only have 5 steps left here. Hopefully they will be good? We are resorting to Swiss cheese now!

5) Be helpful - even if there's no immediate profit in it.

Way to go. This step shows true Customer service quality potential. : )

6) Train your staff (if you have any) to be ALWAYS helpful, courteous, and knowledgeable.

Amen! for Customer Service!

7) Take the extra step.

Good, but this step needs more. What about "Take the extra step, towards making the customer happy with your service/product." We will let this step slide.

8) Throw in something extra.

This is a good step, but one has to be careful not to just throw customers extras because the company says so. A customer may see this as a "cheesy" stunt! That something extra should come from the heart.

Overall these are good steps, but why did we end up with Swiss cheese? Do we still have holes in our Customer Service training? or is the training just really cheesy?

Why does everyone always pick on me!